#Idk if I'd even want that to be the case or if it's at all plausible but the idea just popped into my head
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I loved the update just because it exists. I loved the bit with the mounts (especially Arthur's trying to ground MC) but my tiny bit of concrit is the "I know you're a mage" convo feels...shoehorned? Like we get the panic attack and Arthur just says he doesn't think the same way as Uther and it's just...It feels (imo) that the Hound once more just accepts Arthur at face value again? I loved the rewrite making the Hound more wary of Arthur, and this kinda felt like a slip? Idk it just feels like there could be...more there. Or perhaps Arthur will try to revisit the topic? Cause like idk about you but if I was just told "I don't want to do anything to you buuuuuut people in my court might," I'd feel threatened and like...I wouldn't believe a single word prior to the "my court might" part. Cause like the Hound is a political prisoner, the nobles (Our sister in law is amazing) made that clear, so it's just another chain Arthur is adding, a little "Be careful love, you don't know what SOMEONE might do if they found out you're a mage :) :)", you know?
And as someone who played as a Hound who is absolutely dreading this marriage (they literally feel like a prisoner) that whole thing kinda felt as if that wasn't an option? Like for example, the walking into the church thingy you have: I feel better, I'm not alone, and the "I am strong and proud" options, but no real option for...just numb? I personally just headcanoned the Hound was disassociated to the point they won't remember the day at all. (I kinda hope we might just get to breakdown with our brothers, or idk alone in the dark)
Also I forget, but is this a game where we have to rack up romance points to lock in? Or one we choose the route? Because I honestly didn't feel that my Hound would want to talk to anyone during what is (to them) a celebration of their collaring/house's defeat.
BUUUUT I truly do hope you take this as constructive. You won't please all of us, and you shouldn't try to. I love that you gave us even this and you are incredibly strong and lovely for pushing through everything. If I am out of line, feel free to ignore or tell me off and I'll just smash my Hound into a better mold for the story lol. After all, it is your story, tell it how you want.
I would really like to give you a long response to your very helpful feedback, but I fear I am lacking the energy to do so. I just want you to know that I hear you, and in truth you make really good points.
1) yeah I do admit I was getting close to burnout with writing in this update, and that scene in particular might have suffered for it. I'll revise it, and hopefully try to not make the interaction feel so jarring. (Note: did you try to pick the more... aggressive option? It goes in a different way, maybe it is less weird?)
2) you are totally right on the options for the marriage - especially because you can play a very numb MC. I'll either edit or add that option. Ohh and the breakdown with the siblings is peak idea. I'm writing that down.
3) as for the romance points: this game is focused strongly on MC. You can choose the pace of the relationship your Hound develops, and for romance, you need to first have some platonic points with said RO. Platonic means in this case that MC wants to spend time with them, and doesn't have to go further than what will become a lifelong friendship.
You do have to pick at least an option to have platonic points with a RO, but you won't get locked out of anything in this game. Every choice shapes your personal Hound's story, this is not a game that punishes you, or that is focused solely on romance.
Thank you for sending this in! This kind of feedback, especially if worded clearly and kindly lik you did, can be so helpful and I love getting it even if it makes me pause and rethink some things.
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Tag requested by @emmg ! Very late to this party, as usual. Doing this made me realize how much I miss my girl Ariadne. I'd like to think our Rooks would be tight ngl, I think their wine fueled girls nights would be both legendary, and not for the faint of heart
LUST: desire for connection. pursuit of pleasure. emotional intelligence. obsessive. lovesick. one-night stands. seductive encounter. flirtatious conversation. erotic party. seductive attire. revealing clothing. passionate gaze. provocative makeup. sensual expressions. suggestive gestures. flirtatious smiles. lingerie. love letters. perfumes. provocative behavior. love poems. erotic art.
→ Her sexuality and carnal desires/expertise are fully weaponized. A professional heart-breaker, full time tease, she's an adventurous hottie and makes no bones about it. Baby gets what baby wants (◡‿◡✿) Emmrich's sentimentality, affection, and emphasis on the tender and romantic make her a tad squeamish. Doting nags that she's undeserving, being she never really experienced it prior, but she only has herself to blame. My snarly chihuahua girl snapped at any hand that offered it before him.
GLUTTONY: indulgence in experiences. savoring moments. hospitality. generosity. hedonism. culinary expertise. wine-tasting. excessive snacking. overloaded plates. excessive portions. bloated stomachs. messy eating. greasy fingers. full tables. indulgent spreads. overflowing cups. satisfied expressions. wine bottles. just can’t get enough. fast food wrappers.
→ Once settled in Emmrich's swanky Nevarran town home, she regularly plays hostess to get the gang together again. My Italian loves to feed people, and that's something I've given her. That girl has perfected 'Artcuterie'. Lots of poured wine and scream-laughing. She's happiest when she's a tiny blonde blur around the table pouring re-fills, fixing someone seconds, etc. She even loves that hazy, post-social high when it's just Neve and Lucanis lingering behind. Taking her time while cleaning up at the end of the night, in a comfortable, reflective lull of Emmrich's cigar smoke, and rumbles of laughter.
Her since refined palate does not absolve her weakness for deliberately unhealthy, cheap, greasy-spoon slop. When she gets pregnant all she wants is whatever the Thedas equivalent of disco fries is. She absolutely does not share in Emmrich's veganism.
ENVY: motivation. competitive spirit. strategic planning. observational skills. bitter rivalry. contest. envious gossip. resentment-filled argument. social media jealousy. furrowed brows. clenched jaws. side-eye looks. pursed lips. tense posture. whispering behind backs. crossed arms. gossip magazines. keeping up with the joneses. the grass is always greener. feeling inadequate.
→ She can be a vicious little thing, with a mean jealous streak. Though she likes to pretend it's not the case, she absolutely has something to prove. Largely to do with her parental abandonment, her ultimate dismissal from the Watch, etc. etc. Emmrich has never given her cause to doubt herself, though one of these days I'll get around to a oneshot just to explore what an insufferable bitch she'd be; catching him with an old flame in an horrifically unfortunate misunderstanding. No part of me think's that any part of her would believe him capable of such behavior, but crazed and jealous? Could be fun idk !
GREED: resourcefulness. entrepreneurial spirit. negotiation. materialistic. aggressive investment. lavish spending spree. resource-hoarding. get-rich-quick schemes. auction-bidding war. property acquisition. piles of money. overflowing wallets. luxury items. locked safes. penny-pinching. rare collectibles. selfishness. unwillingness to share.
→ She likes luxury and shiny things, what can I say. She never experienced wealth before Emmrich, and he's as willing to indulge The Princess as much as she's willing to milk him for it. Not that it's entirely selfishly driven - she needs the premium self-care products, pretty jewels and clothing to keep herself dolled up and pretty for daddy, obviously
SLOTH: calmness. stress management. nonchalance. relaxation techniques. lethargic. apathetic. inactive. lazy weekend. binge-watching marathon. neglected chores. skipped workout. long nap. lounging on the couch. missed deadlines. unkempt appearance. messy hair. pajamas. blankets. slippers. procrastination station. self-care routines.
→ She's for sure not a napper, she couldn't shut her brain off midday and then function afterwards. She's either on and non-stop, manic energy, or she's shut off for the weekend. There's no middle ground. She's either productive or she's not. She's super woman, or she's a cave troll. Either sleek and done up to the nines, or a bum.
PRIDE: confidence. self-assurance. self-respect. dignity. public speaking. self-promotion. arrogant. conceited. egotistical. self-important. vain. boastful speech. puffed chest. raised chin. smug smiles. spotlight. tooting your own horn. showing off. refusing to admit mistakes. feeling entitled. personal branding. leadership development.
→ She knows her good looks and her confidence are intoxicating. She knows her adeptness with the Fade is a thing to envy, but this girl is a MESS. She's on her game until she's absolutely not.
WRATH: assertiveness. decisiveness. strength. intensity. boundary setting. courage. indignant. heated arguments. road rage incident. physical altercation. angry outburst. clenched fists. glaring eyes. tense muscles. raised voices. reddened faces. aggressive gestures. stormy demeanour. intense frowns. destructive actions. broken objects. punching bag. out for blood. fists. simmering anger.
→ She knows what she wants, and how she wants it - and she wants it when she wants it. Patience is not one of her virtues. When you're small, weakness can be assumed. Often, short/un-assuming statures go hand in hand with feistiness, and certainly in her troubled youth she made up for her size with her mouth (see: scar on her nose). As she aged and got a better handle on her magic she sort of simmered down, but Emmrich was being polite when he mentioned the rumors he had heard of a certain young Watcher sneaking out to be a little menace. I took his brat-taming so seriously but he's only sometimes successful with this one
She's got a hot-head and a short fuse. She explodes. Her tongue is venom, her glare is lethal and her edge cuts even herself. But when she's in the wrong, she goes above and beyond to make up for it. She's exhausting.
No pressure tags! @xxnashiraxx @khywren @obsessedwhyyes @bardic-inspo @verbenaa @jainydoe @crepsley dish about your OCs pretty pls
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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omg guys proshipper isn't "basic dni criteria", like that list is supposed to represent actual irl issues(*), not some 2020 internet discourse. you guys are so annoying like if you're uncomfortable interacting with proshippers i understand and respect it, although you probably have a very twisted idea of what the word means (would make a separate post abt it but there are hundreds already). but please don't equate it to actual crimes. (*)also do you seriously think that a bigot troll is going to read your dni and be magically expelled from your strong aura. if anything it's going to make them want to harass you more. it's obvious that those lists are just a pose like "if i don't put racists dni they're gonna think i'm racist" NO aaagh you don't have to over-specify(?) everything about you when interacting online can we please go back to being normal istg. reject modernity embrace not writing a dni list and just blocking people like a normal person <3
#tsun.txt#also ppl who write all their triggers and traumas are you fr that too is going to make it easier for trolls to harass you#children need to learn basic internet safety etc etc#i needed to vent bc i've been on toyhouse and i'm SO tired of everyone using the “warning” tab for fucking dni's#come and block me yourself bitch. the warning is supposed to be info about what could trigger ME.#BRO i just remembered once i was looking at the artists that were going to attend a con and one of them had fucking proship dni in their bi#like IMAGINE limiting your sales bc you care about what other people like to read?? i'm going to put fucking. idk. team kira dni.#also i sometimes go to cons as an artist too. imagine if i got placed next to that person#what do they want me to do? them: “hey can you move your chair a little” me: ignoring them bc i read their dni#it's INSANE#not @ me being paranoid abt ppl cancelling me for this post despite having like +300 blocked accounts#but i'm coming out (?) as a non-harasser. like i don't even use the word profiction. i'd rather call myself normal.#i sound like those people who're like my pronouns are nor/mal but FR this used to be the norm in fandoms *sob*#also ppl online are limiting their interactions for not wanting me to reblog their art but okay#in MY case i'm hella limiting my interactions for not wanting to be harassed. we're not the same.#i be like why does this have so few notes *has half the fandom blocked*#and ppl probably wouldn't even notice bc most of what i post is wholesome but then i write textposts like this. better safe than sorry#discourse
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thinking about shadow of the erdtree again. I'm now a little more ambivalent on whether radahn agreed with miquella's vow or not - but assuming he did - would that mean the reason radahn halted the stars, and thereby carian fate* is so ranni would not be able to enact the age of stars before miquella was to create a new order? food for thought.
*it's also ambiguous (imo) whether radahn did this intentionally but im just having a thought experiment. blaidd leaves a sign calling someone a "traitor" in front of nokron right after radahn is defeated. maybe him siding with miq would explain this
#elden ring#sote#radahn#miquella#ranni the witch#still iffy on why malenia had to fight him in the end#assuming radahn had a (perhaps literal) change of heart - did this happen between halting the stars and the battle of aeonia?#for me personally the fact the battle happened at all points to him and miquella falling apart#and i *love* complicated motives and characters. I'd genuinely love if this was the case. so i might be biased#idk what if he regretted his decision but it was too late... what if he held on#both for the bitterness at being labeled a traitor and not wanting to play along miq's whims#thinking pondering even
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Bro. What if Agent Stone is a robot... WHAT IF HE'S ACTUALLY A ROBOT CREATED BY ROBOTNIK...
#but hey thats just a theory#agent stone#Idk if I'd even want that to be the case or if it's at all plausible but the idea just popped into my head
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pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this
#tomgreg#where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go.#so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him.#who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal.#who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now.#he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that#would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out.#he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love?#a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case.#and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl.#you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you.#you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you.#the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic.#and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god#they are so annoying. anyway#the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!!#what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul.#then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE#or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye
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I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good
#isat critical#like the ''we must be prepared for the destruction change will bring'' shit came back so hard at the end#specifically with loop context/destroying themself to become a star. to become loop#and the fact that when siffrin deviated from the script. finally changed the way he performed his play (act 5)#that's when it broke#and he had to ''destroy'' his friends to do it. In a way. When all he knew how to do was fight/snapped#and it's like. of COURSE loop is how siffrin was able to escape. Because escaping the loop meant siffrin had to save/love themself#value their own life and not just their friend's#to realize that they couldn't do it on their own. that they needed their friends to help them out of it. they needed support#that being loved was more than saying the right thing or doing the right quest#isat is so strong structurally/thematically/plot-wise and I personally despise it comedically/character/dialogue writing-wise#and the whole game is dialogue. like isat is the most conflicting experience I've had in a while#Where I hate actually reading the dialogue and I don't like the character writing but I love thinking about it's themes. like hello#that sucks i'd rather have it just be one or the other#*aaravos voice* you must live life in the grey#Like the king and siffrin foil is my beloved. And I absolutely adore how the King's story was ended.#But I dislike siffrin as a character and I also hate most of the game's execution#like every emotional beat is made anticlimactic by the lack of subtext and the constant repetition#(literally laughed out loud at ''my house my country my HOME!'' like we said the same thing 3 times babe. the whole game is like this)#isat has a huge case of ''we wanted conflict but didn't give characters any real flaws to be able to do it''#idk. Everyone repeated over and over that they don't touch siffrin because he's uncomfortable with it. Over and over.#And yet he's still like. ''It's because Isa finds you disgusting'' Huh. Idk if we did the work for Siffrin to come to that conclusion#Like literally Isa never does anything to even imply that. All he's ever done is sing Sif's praises. makes me feel crazy#Like ''oh he views everyone else as just a character!! a pawn!'' except no he doesn't. he barely did in act 5#and even in act 5 he's horrified at how he treated odile. like. we did not commit to that. I got sad lukewarm flowey#Do not even get me started on odile's ''I think it's so cute you trapped yourself in time and went crazy because you love us''. Girl#Like no we can. We can commit. Siffrin did bad things and going crazy was bad. Odile wasn't wrong to be upset.#Like why not 'That was terrible of you to say. But I won't leave you—you still love people who make mistakes- because what else is there?'#like we got so close with the worst loop being the permanent loop. Siffrin is still loved no matter what. But idk. Felt brushed off#oh isat...you strange being...
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one of my reference letter writers got back to me today to say she was done with my letter but the links on the schools spreadsheet i sent her weren't working (they were just links to the dept websites), so i scrambled to get links emailed to her to upload her letter to interfolio and the like four schools i'm submitting to that don't use interfolio (boo). and that was this afternoon (i responded within an hour to her email) but so far nothing's been uploaded and i'm like... pls upload them pls now i'm super nervous she's going to struggle with the like technical aspect of getting letters uploaded. praying and hoping she uploads this weekend bc then i've got one letter on lockdown.
#i sent them all out around 4pm and still nothingggggg this is so nervewracking#and my third letter writer has STILL not responded with a yes or no. i gave her until oct. 20 for an answer so i'm waiting until then#to follow up and see about a full answer. but i'm like wouldnt she have said by now if she was planning to????? idk!!!!!#i have a drafted request for the prof i'm taking a class with this year but i'm so hesitant about asking bc it's so awkward lmao#almost easier with profs i don't have to see or interact with at all lmao#but i might ask her anyway even if this third person says yes. bc a fourth letter can only help in my case????#and then if the other prof says no i have a plan already in place#like if they both say no i might be shit out of luck bc idk who else i'd ask#except maybe the teacher for my workshop classes but tbh i dont even want to ask her lol i don't actually feel like she'd write a good lett#not just for me but like. in general. she's nice enough but not a great teacher tbh#[long scream]#i have to finish SO much writing this weekend and i need to do all this stuff but my head is spinning now bc of this stop itttt#grad app woes#liveblogging life
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Somehow, I now have 200 followers. I didn't expect this to make me emotional, but it does. Thank you to every single person who follows me. It means a lot ❤️
#I never expected I'd have that many people want to see what I do and say and feel about certain things#it's a weird feeling but a positive one#a few of you came here after I started spamming this site about 4 Minutes and I'm super glad for it#because I love the show and I love that so many people ask me every week about it#but of course that doesn't change the love I will always have for VP and especially Pete#the non-person of my heart#I'm sorry I'm posting less about him but there are a few reasons for it#1. I have writer's block so my little random snippets have disappeared and I can't even open my docs now because of it#2. 4 Minutes has taken over my brain mostly (though definitely not completely)#3. Due to No2 I feel that the VP fandom doesn't... really care about my VP/Pete posts anymore#I know that's not exactly the case I still get notes on my posts and stuff#It's just... idk#I feel isolated from the rest of the fandom#to me the reasons are clear and valid and obviously no one is obligated to interact with me#I just wanted to express my sadness a little bit#I have a lot of it stored in there#sorry for being a downer under a positive post haha#can't promise it won't happen again#Love you all <33#yu speaks
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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I was thinking it would be cool if there was an ocd character bracket poll (if there is lmk?) But also I don't think there are enough characters in popular media that are actually good ocd representation 💀 so it would almost certainly have to extend to headcanon...
#because putting more niche characters in there would mean not a lot of ppl would care about the poll#plus the point of the poll is to figure out who the most iconic is right? so yeah#but like. when people think of ocd characters they think of shit like sheldon cooper#and if i made a poll like that i wouldn't want to put misrepresentations or stereotypes in... like that's not real ocd swag :/#I mean obviously I'd still allow a bit of wiggle room for minor hiccups. or hyperbole (in characters like dtk) that fits into the universe#and it's not like i would disqualify characters just for being nerdy even though that is kind of a stereotype#like that kid from Stephen King's It. idr his name. it wasn't a fully accurate depiction and was sort of stereotypical#but it can fly by based on what did make sense#either way I'd certainly not put in characters that don't have ocd at all but ppl think they do just because they like cleaning#like the guy from att/ck on t/tan (wouldn't either way tbh)#though for some like that i can see an argument like. idk. monica geller or someone whos like neurotic enough that you can make a case for#though again a lot of these rely largely on stereotype.... so . but it's what's in the popcultural zeitgeist for ocd 😕
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Nobody tell this website that egg jokes aren't annoying because the concept of someone potentially being a trans woman instead of a feminine man is somehow bad (it's not in the slightest and if that does turn out to be the case, said woman should be treated with nothing but respect in terms of her gender identity). They're annoying because you do not know that person and misgendering anyone is rude and even if you're right, that's not anyone's business but theirs and you're still misgendering them now.
#Hayley Speaks#I don't even know or care about that one streamer and I couldn't care less about what he identifies as#Because it's no one's business but his#But I have my personal beef with people who are THIS mad about people not liking egg jokes#Because it's like...I think what it boils down to is that you don't know that person#You do not know what they might identify as in the future#It is literally NO ONE'S business but theirs#And even if you're right; it's not cool to push your own personal labels onto them if they are NOT there yet#By making jokes about what they MIGHT identify as down the road; you are literally putting them into a box they are not in#No matter where the journey of gender identity might go for them; that's not okay at all#IDK I feel like if I saw someone trying to egg a real woman with short hair and a butch style as transmasc I'd also be really uncomfortable#(I say real bc like...there's a difference between egging real people and fictional characters)#(REALIZING VERY QUICK after typing my tags that I should specify that; egging fictional characters is totally different and I support it~!)#You don't know her#And even if that IS the case for her later on; what business is it of ours?#I don't get the anger outside of people just being mad that people don't like them misgendering someone#Yes I can understand hoping that someone you might look up to might fall into the same gender identity as you#But that's still a human person#IDK this Finnster shit is annoying to see from all sides#Literally who cares?? Let him be whoever he wants and stop being weird about it.
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tag game where the first celebrity, outfit, quote & aesthetic pin on ur pinterest is ur vibe, tagged by @danielsousa THANK YOU ELKE MWAHHH this is sooooo fun i've seen it floating around here and there and always wanted to do it so <33333333
tagging @lesbianjudasiscariot @parrished @strawdogs @ronanessy & @stringcage IF u all want to obviously <3333!!!
#u would not. BELIEVE how far down i had to scroll to find a celebrity it was all just drawing inspo/reference and vibes for my oc's and art#and quotes and snoopy and pottery and also randomly a screenshot of a yt video titled ur parents are arguing downstairs abt divorce while#you're crying all while mr brightside plays.........like i'm not joking that was genuinely a pic i encountered while scrolling i've got the#receipts for it even bc i downloaded the pic it was soooooo baffling 2 me.. who tf wants to hear ppl arguing in the background of a song???#not for me that i'll just listen to mr brightside on its own thanks 🙏#anyway scrolled way way down and then the 1st celebrity turned out to be ayo teehee <33333#i think this is quite accurate 2 me actually even the outfit. like yeah. i'd wear that 👍 minus the hat bc unfortunately with the hair that#i have hats always look too small and ridiculous on me bc my hair's like. idk. puffy? i guess?? it cannot be tamed down in any case 😞 which#is rlly SUCH a shame bc i love hats. and i can't tie my hair back or smth either bc then i look like a potato or perhaps an egg so. other#than that perfect outfit 10/10 would wear 👍#tag games <3#let's ignore the quote also bc like. NO THANK UUUUUUUU 🔫 i would love to NOT think abt that! me personally .
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it feels like almost every post i see about dr starline is either woobifying him and pretending he did nothing wrong or saying hes a bad character and their only reasoning for that is that he did bad things. even though hes a villain and hes supposed to do bad things thats the whole point? i dont get it . where am i
#i'd be more understanding of the second argument if like. starlines actions were portrayed in a positive light#and the writers wanted us to believe hes a good person. but thats not the case at all hes very obviously supposed to be evil#the comic doesnt defend him his actions are obviously wrong and we are shown the negative impact hes had on the people hes hurt#so i dont really get. how his actions make him a bad character? hes just a bad Person. which is a completely separate thing#im not even a starline fan either those takes just kinda confuse me#and im NOT saying you cant dislike him because of his actions. or be uncomfortable with fans of him who call him a girlboss and stuff#i can See why the way he treats surge and kit would be very upsetting for some people and i agree that its horrible he did that to them#just again. that i dont really understand the take that hes a bad character because he does bad things. hes supposed to be bad#i never really see people talk about other sonic villains who are just as bad if not worse like this either? just starline. idk#not vagueing anyone in particular btw this is just a response to many many posts ive seen#and i dont agree with the people in the first category either to be clear i just didnt have as much to say about that
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